I wasn’t able to go to your funeral yesterday. I had taken my medicine at 8:15am… after my kids were gone… so I could rest… and stop the aching headache that had plagued me all morning.
And then I got the email. The email telling me that your funeral was today at 9:30. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I wanted to tell your family how much you meant to me.
I looked for you… religiously, every year at our CTBTA golf tournament… and then the hugging and kissing would begin! In front of all your friends… as they woo hoo’d in the background. (Yes… that’s right… I would get all sloppy on my senior citizen Brain Tumor Buddy!)
When you weren’t there last Monday I knew. I knew then. But I didn’t say a word. Instead I went along… not telling anyone I knew you were gone.
Funny… you didn’t leave us til the next day.
You gave me hope. You smiled… and golfed… and I think you even told me about taking some ballroom dancing lessons. All this while living with a Brain Tumor. One that would eventually kill you.
Now… all us Malignant Brain Cancer patients know that there isn’t a cure. We live with the fact that one day… we too… will be written about in an obituary.
BTW… Bill’s obit picture was great! He looked young and healthy! And his hair was even light brown… and there was a lot more of it too! (I don’t blame ya’ Bill…. I want a pic of me at 16… in my white mini skirt and fringe cowboy boots as my obit pic!)
It’s been a bad couple days for me Bill. I’ve totally internalized your death. And I miss you.
But… today we have another meeting for BRAIN TUMOR BISTRO! I will see The Chef… and move forward with the dream of giving an unbelievable gift… to a new Brain Cancer patient and their family.
They will get the support and love… that maybe we missed during our diagnosis and battle.
But… The party goes on… as you would say!
So I better get busy planning it!
Love,
Tra
