Went to the doctor today… great news…. Stable MRI!
No Tumor growth… BUT… no tumor shrinkage either.
And now I’m faced with a choice. My new seizure medication isn’t off patent yet… so it will cost us an additional $887 in cash… every month.
I looked at my doctor and asked if there was another medicine I could take. Thank God he and I are so close. There’s nothing… and I mean nothing I can’t say to him. And… it goes both ways.
He looked me square in the eye… and said you’re willing to spend over $1,000 in cash every month for your Cannabis Oil… but you’re not willing to spend it on another seizure med?
I was so pissed…
And he was right…. he had a very valid point.
He also has known my family for a very long time… and he knew my Dad. He knows I’m spending my dad’s life insurance money on my Cannabis Oil. But now I have to choose.
And so many patients that I have spoken to have also had to make this choice. Because when you get sick… the first thing you lose after your mind…. is your money.
But most of them have chosen to take the traditional pharmaceuticals. And not try Cannabis Oil.
So… I sit here… typing… trying to decide. Do I stop taking the Cannabis Oil… and hope for the best? Take the more expensive seizure meds… since the tumor isn’t shrinking.
Or… pray the Cannabis Oil will also prevent the seizures… and hope I don’t end up face down in Whole Foods Market.
MOM…by the way… I know you’re reading this from the other side of the world right now… don’t worry… I have enough oil to last a while. And enough seizure meds to last til the end of the month.
It’s so terrible that almost every Brain Cancer patient I meet has asked about the oil… but then it comes to the big decision… and it is big… and usually the Cannabis Oil is just too expensive to commit to. It’s a forever commitment.
I think most patients want to make sure their money goes to their children. And I admire and respect that…
But if the oil is keeping the tumor from growing… and I stop… what happens? I don’t have the answer… I thought I would after writing this Blogapy… as this is where I usually draw my conclusions from.
But not today…
I guess it is such a scary and big decision… maybe it’s not one that has a correct answer.
Maybe all of this is about Hope…