My first Blogapy for my P4OH – 3R’s Friends!
What’s a Blogapy first of all? Well…It’s what I came up with for what I do. I Blog. But, I Blog for myself. It’s been my own personal therapy. And when I started sharing it with friends and family…it turned out that the lessons I was learning…ended up being lessons that many people also learned from. So now…I share them with all of you.
Welcome to Tracey’s Blogapy!
Be… The Going!
When I left the rehab hospital in September of 2006, I was half bald, staples in my head, semi-paralyzed with 25% remaining of a Malignant Brain Tumor still lodged in my head.
Yes…I was a hottie!
But I was going home. Home to my family, my husband, my children, my house, my bed, my parents, my kitchen, my toilet seat, my mirror…with my new reflection.
O.K… Not the same reflection as when I last looked in this mirror…but today we start to work on that…because I’m finally home.
Laying in my bed, 3 weeks later, with one sleeping child on my left and one “almost” sleeping baby on my right…My whole world would fall apart for the second time.
I won’t go into detail about what happened…but that’s when all things about coming home slipped away.
Safety… Security…Moving Forward.
My husband of over a decade left.
How was I…a dying, 36 year old, wobbly woman going to take care of my kids…my home…or myself…my life?
Sound familiar? Not the Brain Tumor part…the loss of feeling home.
Losing that feeling isn’t one that only happens to soldiers.
It happens to us all at some point in our lives.
The loss of a loved one.
The actual loss of a home.
The loss of a marriage.
The loss of Normalcy…Or…Your “Old Life”.
They say, “When the tough get going…The going get tough!”
What I thought was MY “Tough”…Well…HE got going!
But I was still unable to walk, drive…even take care of myself…I couldn’t get going. I literally couldn’t “go” anywhere. And even if I could…who would ever want me again?
I’m too…”damaged”.
Great personal ad! Dying chick, with brain tumor, can’t work anymore, no health insurance, and no money… seeks guy.
But low and behold… When my “Tough” got going…Somewhere deep inside of me…I found I was still going. I was still here…breathing…sleeping…eating. I was still going. So, as long as I was still going…I had a choice.
I chose to get tough. REALLY TOUGH!
Without giving away all my secrets…let’s just say that I am a happily married, Mom and Step Mom of 5. Co-Founder of The CT Brain Tumor Alliance, National Face of Medical Marijuana and Proud Adviser to the P4OH Program!
So…Let’s Get Going!
Love,
Tra