My Last Blogapy of 2013

KC and Tracey Gray For May

My last Blogapy of 2013…

I knew I was going to write one last entry before 2014…but I’ve been debating on what the topic should be. I’ve had the most amazing, incredible, heartbreaking, bizarre, beautiful, scary and unexplainable year…ever!

When I started my blog…or as I’ve dubbed it Blogapy sessions…It was April. I had spent the first 3 months of 2013 getting more and more tired by the day. My seizures were getting worse and I was truly praying to god every morning to let me make it to my wedding on April 20th.

I bought a wedding dress in 15 minutes…I kid you not! I planned the entire ceremony with a teeny tiny budget…and created one of the most special moments of my life. And I was so lucky to be able to share it with everyone I love. It was a combination of etsy meets Elizabeth Park!

Unfortunately, after the wedding, the TV interviews, Government testimonies and CTBTA… My body couldn’t handle anymore. I got worse by the day. Finally, I became almost completely bed ridden in the beginning of June. It was terrible.

Terrible for my whole family. And I will confide this to you now…and only now…Greg and I had started putting plans in place for…well…you know.

But then something happened. As a result of my blogging and the work I had been doing…I had unknowingly amassed a new group of amazing friends and contacts. It was those contacts, both in England and Australia that introduced me to a new treatment…A very strong form of MM called Cannabis Oil. And there had to have been an angel that got thrown into the mix too…because someone here in CT reached out to me…did all the research on my form of Brain Cancer… and started making it for me.

Fast Forward…Today I’m running around…my body is stronger than ever. My husband and I have been married for 9 months and will go on our Parisian honeymoon in the spring! Yes…that’s right…the doctors cleared me for it!

And my career…which I didn’t ever plan on having again…is speeding down a racetrack that I can barely stay on.

So here is what I’d like to share with you going into 2014… For most of my life I looked up. I even wrote a blog about it after seeing a funny Google Intern movie…I wanted to remind my kids every day to look up and see what is in front of them so that they could learn and move FORWARD. I thought you couldn’t move forward without looking up. I was so wrong.

I always looked up. I was afraid not to. If I stopped for one moment and looked down…then all those balls I had juggling in the air would fall. And then I’d have to look down…clean them up…start over…. Way too much work!

In the last few days of 2013…I have found myself looking up, to the right, to the left, and sometimes…even behind me. I never realized there were so many places to look. Lastly…I think I’ve spent a lot of time looking in.

I must have looked in the mirror at least 1 million times in my life. I can tell you the exact location of every freckle I hate, new wrinkle line, eyebrow screw-up…. But recently…and I mean very recently…like in the last 30 minutes…I looked in the mirror and just looked.

Looked up, right, left, down, Hmmm…not the face I remember from the 80’s.

The image in the mirror…I looked straight at it. And it’s hard.

Today…please do that for me. I don’t care if you’re brushing your teeth, popping a zit, or covering up your under eye bags with concealer for tonight’s party…just look straight at yourself. Then look to the right, left, down (yup look at the belly!) Just look at yourself. It’s a wonderful privilege. And I say that to you as a true friend.

Make sure that in 2014 you look in more places than just…up and forward. Looking all around…and even behind you is part of moving forward. So tonight, on New Years Eve…when I look to my left and right, I will see family, friends, work…but most of all…I will still see me.

Most of us didn’t think I would see 2014. But surprise surprise…I’ll be ringing it in with my most favorite people…my family. Greg and the kids, Jenny and her clan …and Dannakirk! I know those names don’t mean anything to a lot of you…but to me they are everything! I can’t wait to look up, left, right and down tonight. Because I’ll see all the excitement of a new year with the people I most want to spend it with. Myself included. And If I can get you…and them… to look all around too…then everything that happened to all of us in 2013…will make 2014…A HAPPIER NEW YEAR!



(Mrs. Shimer)

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