I’ve known so many people who have passed away over the last 7 ½ years. It’s never easy. And there’s no “right” thing to do when someone dies… there just isn’t.
When my Dad died… he died suddenly. A car crash gives no one time to prepare… to get ready to mourn… to say the things we wanted to say… to even pick a caterer.
When I went to the bus stop this morning, my dear friend told me about a funeral she had gone to yesterday. It was a friend of theirs, only 39… young man… leaving behind a young wife and 2 young kids.
I was actually lucky enough to attend a fabulous 40th birthday party with my friends and this couple. It was last year… one that I… and the birthday boy will never forget! (love you J+J) But it was nice to have that memory of him… partying it up and singing “Ticky Tocky, Ticky Tocky, Oy Oy Oy!”
But at the bus stop this morning, the most wonderful thing my friend said… was that they were going to be the friends that are there… after all the hoopla calms down.
I remember that. The endless trays of food, cards, shiva visits, calls…. Old photos being sent to me from people I never knew. Funny stories of Daddy eating 5 pound lobsters with his friends. Family and friends promising to help take care of me and the kids… now that we were alone… and I was dying of Brain Cancer.
But there are definitely 2 kinds of people that come into your life when someone dies. The people who are there for the funeral and the first few weeks. And then there are the people that still come over 6 months later… with dinner… or tickets to a concert!
We all need both kinds of people. Some are great distractions. Some you cry with. Some you laugh with…some you pig out with. Some you get drunk with… some you fall asleep with.
Thank god there are both kinds of people… who show up when you need them most!